News & Politics

If You Google Searched “Snooki Nude” In The Last Four Days, You’re Letting The Terrorists Win (We’re Looking At You, Dallas)

by

Much to your dismay, we’re sure, nude photos of Jersey Shore star “Snooki” have surfaced and currently are making the rounds on the Internet. Snooki, as you know, is more of a punchline than an actual person — often ridiculed for her “meatball”-esque appearance and Jersey-like demeanor. That said, there’ s been a huge spike in Google searches for the keywords “Snooki nude.”

In other words, despite how revolting the general public seems to find Snooki, we still want to see her naked — especially those in Dallas and Kentucky.

A company spokeswoman tells the Voice that Google doesn’t provide specific numbers when it comes to how many people search particular keywords. However, she directed us to Google Zeitgeist, which tracks trending search keywords. 

Zeitgeist doesn’t provide the number of people who have searched for
certain keywords, but compares how many people are searching for
specific words on a given day, month, or year and compares it to the
average number of searches for those words. It’s pretty useless when
trying to determine how many people actually are searching for “Snooki
nude.” However, it shows the geographic location of where the searches
originate.

People in Dallas, it turns out, want to see Snooki
naked more than anyone else in the country. The other top five cities
that actually want to see Snooki naked include Washington D.C., Chicago,
Los Angeles, and Houston. New York was sixth on the list.

As for states that want to see the self-proclaimed “meatball” in the
buff, Kentucky tops the list, followed by Oregon, New Jersey, Arizona,
and Iowa.

See the entire list here.

Snooki, as you know, is a cultural terrorist. Her assault on all that is
decent and good has stretched from the Jersey shore, to Florida, and
even to Italy — where she and her “guidettes” made Americans look like
complete and utter douchebags.

As you may also know, Snooki is fueled by attention — even if that
attention comes from nude pictures of herself floating around
cyberspace, which is why her reps were quick to confirm that the photos
actually are of Snooki. 

That said, we all have the collective power to stop Snooki — if we all band
together and just ignore her, there’s a good chance she’ll melt like a Gremlin that’s been exposed to the sun.

We realize this article isn’t helping the cause, but sometimes you gotta
break some eggs — and after this post, we vow to not give Snooki even a
sliver of attention ever again. We can only hope our colleagues in the
Fourth Estate follow suit.