We’re not making any promises about lithesome redheads or singing crustaceans, but by now, with the Mermaid Parade in its 30th year, seashell bikinis are pretty much a given. The Coney Island tradition was originally conceived as a way to combine forgotten local Mardi Gras parties with a rich nautical mythology, resulting in what is now the familiar finned pageant of elaborate floats, costumes, music, and burlesque. Mer-culture in all its glory will be on display down Surf Avenue, with -maids and -men alike, as well as the occasional pirate or other seafaring folk. This year, Jackie “the Joke Man” Martling, after a 15-year stint on The Howard Stern Show, presides as King Neptune, with Annabella Sciorra as his queen. After the long walk—or swim—unwind at the Mermaid Ball, held at the nearby New York Aquarium.

Sat., June 23, 2 p.m., 2012