He’s a conservative who touts family values and is against gays in the Boy Scouts, to name just one place where they might turn up.
But there’s a method to his madness.
Here is the former film star’s conduct code–from his martial art Chun Kuk Do–which is so inspiring I might have to start breaking planks of wood with my hands.
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
And this process will start when exactly?
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
OK, great. Let’s forget your Boy Scouts remarks.
3. I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family.
Terrific. After all, your daughter is the result of an extramarital affair.
4. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
Even gays? I mean, we’re included in “all people,” no?
5. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
Even gays??? I mean, a gay sort of counts as “a person,” right?
6. I will always be enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
Then say something nice about Wanda Sykes!
7. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
Puhleease, Missy. Now you’re really stretching my spandex!
8. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
Then why don’t you demonstrate respect for our President by saying, “I’m in favor of same-sex marriage too”?
9. I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, my family, and my friends.
Make sure, OK? Because there was that extramarital thing.
10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.
To which I say: Your attitude isn’t positive any more than it’s helping our country!
But best of luck to you, Chuck. Don’t hurt me.