The Sound of Music is a perfect movie, no matter what Christopher Plummer has been muttering for decades.
It happens to be sweeping, enchanting, funny, adorable, and scary–the perfect mix of puppets, moppets, and Nazis.
And now that it’s been announced to come to TV in a whole new version, I want to announce the cast that would surely get the network the most dough (a deer, a female deer…):
Tyler Perry as Madea Von Trapp. (Come on, she’d look hot in a wimple.)
Eddie Murphy as Captain Von Trapp (though I’m not sure if he’s OK with kissing drag queens. Anyone know?)
Diana Ross as the Mother Superior. (Don’t laugh. She played a nun on Tarzan once.)
And Nicki Minaj as the Baroness. (Well, the character’s supposed to be a little bit imperious and shit.)
This cast would surely re-invigorate the material, and make it downright fierce, actually!
Those hills would truly be alive!
But wait a minute. This project is being done by NBC, so they’re probably going to want to use their own TV stars in the roles.
OK, how about Christina Aguilera as a nun?