Actual Nightlife Conversation Directed Right At My Face!


And it was all uttered last night, at the weekly “On Top!” bash at the Standard, where people often say memorable things to match their outfits.

*”Hello, Mr. Musto. Everyone says I’m the most Aryan looking thing here.”

*”You’re the one who created Paris Hilton!”

*”It’s my first time doing drag, and it hurts!”

Me: “Well, get used to it, honey. It doesn’t get any better.”

*”I’m about to go on Style Wars on Lifetime, and you should write about me. What can I do for you? [touching me] You should come to my house. I’ll make you dinner.”

“I don’t eat,” I replied, unconvincingly.

“Even 12-year-old boys?” he asked.

*”You’re a New York legend! [Pause] This place looks like the definition of tragedy meets decadence.”

*”Hello, Michael. I want to introduce you to someone. This Is David. He’s a makeup artist! [Pause]. And I’m on the cover of Next magazine!”

*”I’m such a fan. I was just trying to explain to my girlfriend who you are.”

*”You’re famous! You’re famous!…Are you famous????”

“Michael, your friend Mike Davi is looking for you.” Who? “Mike Davi. He says he’s a friend of yours. He’s with David Byrd.” Who? “David Byrd. He’s here with Mike Davi.”

*”I just saw your hologram at xl!”

What? Is Jermaine Jackson doing a show at xl now????

*I dressed up all day for this, but other people look better. Everyone go home! Leave!”

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