The Crackdown On Bottle Service Is Absurd


I deplore bottle service more than anyone on the planet.

The sight of wealthy people with no taste commandeering banquettes to order overpriced bottles of vodka, thereby sucking all the creative life out of clubbing, always makes me sick to my stomach.

But the new attempts to crack down on and/or monitor this practice are wildly out of line, and even more oppressive than bottle service itself.

In fact, they’re the acts of puritanical people just looking for one more way to try and tame nightlife!

Add that to all the enforced carding, raids, noise complaints, and general impossibility to get a dance license, and clubbing has officially been defanged, deported, and treated like the city’s bastard child rather than a shiny jewel in our crown which pulses with excitement and revenue.

Yes, there was that brawl involving Drake and Chris Brown at W.i.P.

I’m well aware of it.

Does that mean there can’t be any more bottles?

A woman once said she was burned by coffee at McDonald’s. Should we close down all fast food restaurants as a result?

Or maybe we should ban coffee everywhere?

If someone choked on food, that does mean restaurants have to cut down on serving anything edible?

The nanny state of NYC is becoming ridiculous, with so many rules and regulations that you might as well have stayed in Mayberry, where at least rent is cheap and the people might be friendly.

Is ordering $350 vodka really such an intrinsically dangerous activity, except with regards to your wallet and everyone else’s soul?

Just up the security and let’s live again.

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