A SOTC Flowchart: Should You Get Married In Catalpa’s Church Of Sham Marriages This Weekend?


“We have the Frisky’s Church of Sham Marriages going in, which is a 60 foot inflatable church, and we have a pimp pastor marrying people. We actually have two couples getting legitimately married at the festival – the wedding dress, the whole family coming in. I’m trying to get Snoop Dogg to actually do the marriage. That’d be ridiculous, right? It’s elements like that. Of course you had a great time seeing the Black Keys, but you’re going to talk for a lot longer about the day you saw the Black Keys and got married to some random person.”
—Catalpa founder Dave Moran on one of the attractions at this weekend’s inaugural Catalpa NYC festival. Should you take the plunge and make The Most Important Day Of Your Life an outing at Randalls Island where you could conceivably get hitched by a fake pimp/Snoop Dogg/Snoop Lion/a member of Umphrey’s McGee? With candy rings and everything? A flowchart to walk you through the decision-making process below.

Click to enlarge.

(All apologies to The Awl. “Mash up to mashups” joke via Brad Nelson.)

Catalpa, with the Black Keys, Snoop Dogg, TV On The Radio, Umphrey’s McGee, A$AP Rocky, Girl Talk, and many other artists, takes place at Icahn Stadium on Saturday and Sunday.

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