Philly Cheese Steak Ice Cream. Oh, the Horror!


This is what you’ve been waiting for…or maybe not.

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We may be witnessing the birth of a new frozen treat genre. No, I think I can say that with certainty, though perhaps there were inklings decades ago when Baskin-Robbins introduced licorice ice cream, which not only tasted like licorice, but when you threw it away in the dorm trashcan, you awoke the next morning to find the scoop still perfectly formed.

Bet the spectre reared its head again as Philly cheese steak ice cream was invented by Andy Deemer, who describes himself as a “fast food horror filmmaker” and has a column in the Huffington Post. (Not sure if he’s one of those paid columnists or unpaid columnists, but we hope the Huffies at least sprang for his ice-cream-making supplies.)

As the story goes, he and his girlfriend were about to view a double feature of Rocky VI and Rambo IV — and at this point I’ve got to mention that these are horrible films, not horror films.

Anyway, in preparation for the viewing, he decided to make an ice cream that would be every bit as bad as the films. So Deemer shredded some “steak,” sauteed it, corralled some “cheese,” and proceeded through the steps necessary to make a product called Philly cheese steak ice cream. Artisanal, don’t you think?

The post inevitably caught fire, and SF Fork in Road correspondent Tracy Van Dyk spotted the Incredible Things manifestation in a coffee shop in Antigua, Guatemala, showing you just how far this kind of ice cream can travel. (She’s on the way from San Francisco to Tierra del Fuego by car. Read her blog here.)

Inevitably, we had to come up with some more horror ice creams to try to outdo Deemer, who in retrospect seems like kind of a pussy, horror-ice-cream-wise. Well, credit where credit is due: He may have invented the genre.

Next: 10 Horror Ice Creams!!!!

1. Pig blood ice cream with sauteed tripe sauce

2. Urea ice cream with goat-testicle lumps

3. Vampire chocolate ice cream with a drop of actual human blood (just a drop, as if the donor had cut himself shaving)

4. Placenta ice cream made with real human placenta (probably not illegal, the hippies stew it)

5. Haunted house ice cream made with the mouse turds found in the corners of an old dusty and abandoned house

6. French-fry-and-ketchup ice cream

7. Preparation H ice cream, just enough for flavor but not enough to make you sick

8. Liver ice cream served with a glass of nice Chianti

9. Bride of Frankenstein ice cream with alternate streaks of vanilla and licorice.

10. “Sphincter” ice cream made with durian, natto, and okra

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