News & Politics

Sen. Chuck Schumer Goes After the Laaaaasers


Who said the economy was at the top of our national priorities list? Who cares about Iran? The real problem in this country doesn’t lie in our deficit or our debt; it’s those damn laser pointers we use with our PowerPoints.

Senator Chuck Schumer is laying his legislative foot down on the issue of electronic lasers, writing to federal regulators to enforce a couple of rules with our favorite toy to unknowingly piss people off from a distance.
The hot button topic comes off the heels of situations where pilots could have the lasers pointed at planes from a distance of at least 5,000 feet.
Damn, those are some strong lasers.
Apparently, a person can go on the Web and order some of the strongest laser pointers known to Man. And Schumer wants to crack down on these shady sites by limiting the strength of lasers that can be sold.
Yes, this is a totally true story.

Regardless of the Internet side to this imminent problem, Schumer is also calling on the F.D.A. to get its act together and start labeling lasers with warnings that basically say ‘DON’T POINT THIS AT A PLANE.’ The act of actually going through with it will lead to a federal offense charge so keep your pointers down.

And remember: guns don’t kill people; lasers do.

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