Raging is fine for boxing matches, but not for friendships.
I’ve always been amazed when a friend explodes in fury at something I’ve allegedly done, their screaming and sputtering never leading to any intelligent discussion or healthy conclusion.
Once, a friend sent a long, capital-letters letter in the mail about what a creep I was to not have invited him to some event.
I had no idea what he was talking about and had to read the stream of ANGRY, FURIOUS, LIVID, VEIN-POPPING spewage several times before I realized what was going down:
Some time earlier, he had asked me to take him to art-related events so he could network and further his career as an artist. I was uncomfortable about it, but said I would try and even did so one time.
Well, he had heard I went to an art event, which I didn’t invite him to, and that’s what set him off like a time bomb.
But this was completely bonkers.
While he had read in the Post that the event was at a gallery–and indeed it was–that info wasn’t even on the invite (which I still have), just the address!
It was a fashion show!
Besides, it wasn’t a plus-one situation anyway. It was assigned seating!
And the thought of waiting for his usually-late ass one more time would have given me pause, especially since this was a business commitment for me!
And–one more thing–I never said I’d take him to every single thing that might have something to do with art!
I called him to calmly explain but he started screaming and sputtering–the vocal version of his letter, basically–and wouldn’t listen to a word I said.
He yelped and screeched about what a terrible friend I was to not have taken him to this fashion show that just happened to be at an art gallery!
Naturally, that was the end of the friendship.
I truly hope he’s taken some meds since then and has also realized that talking things through is a far better solution than just drowning the other person out by screeching off-kilter inanities.
End of my rage.