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Mike Bloomberg: No Free Vibrators For You! (Without A Permit, Anyway)

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Unlike other media outlets, we’ll spare you the endless orgasm puns and just come right out and say it: the Trojan condom company held a free vibrator giveaway throughout the city yesterday — that is, until Mayor Mike Bloomberg came and pissed on the parade.

The condom conglomerate planned to giveaway 10,000 vibrators from hotdog-style pushcarts throughout Manhattan starting at about 11 a.m. at Sixth Avenue in Rockefeller Center. Other giveaways were set to begin 4 p.m. in the Flatiron District and near the South Street Seaport.

When an estimated 400 people began lining up to snag free vibrators, the
City put the kibosh on the giveaways, claiming that the crowd had
become too large.

Admittedly, we weren’t there — but the New York Post reports that the giveaways were without incident.

Regardless, the city said nope.

Bloomberg, who has a tendency to play
morality/food/cigarette/soda/breast-milk cop, says shutting down the
giveaways was not the mayor’s latest attempt to impose his will on his
New York subjects, but rather a permit issue.

“This activity promoting Trojan products, which impeded pedestrian
and street traffic, did not have a permit,” his office says in a
statement. “The production company affiliated with the event is
currently in discussions with the Mayor’s Office to hold a promotional
event with proper permits at a later date.”