A handful like this is probably more than you want to eat.
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It’s always an exciting time when my friend E. visits from Oakland, California, a town that likes to call itself “Oaksterdam” or the “Cannabis Kingdom.” This weekend, I was eager to ask her about the pressure the federal government, trying to close them down, is putting on marijuana dispensaries. (Thanks loads, Obama!) Were dispensaries fast disappearing from the streets in parts of NoCal?
“Keep Away From Children” indeed!
She just laughed it off. “Actually, there’s a new phenomenon in the Bay Area. Unlicensed pop-up marijuana stores are appearing in several towns, often occupying temporary spaces, but selling the same goods without a prescription. So anyone can walk in and buy them.”
She produced from her purse a small bag of caramel corn. “This is just one of the things they sell,” she continued. “They also have brownies, cookies, candies shaped like Jolly Ranchers, lollipops, and pretzels.”
“You mean like puffy artisanal pretzels?” I asked. “No, hard little commercial pretzels in the usual knot sort of shape,” she said.
“That suggests they’re being made in some sort of advanced commercial bakery,” I observed.
Next: We road test the caramel corn.
Here are the stats — now figure them out!
There were four of us in the garden that day, and we quickly downed all the buttery sweet caramel corn, which was as good as any of us had tasted before, much better than Cracker Jack.
I’d tried to make sense of all the prescription data offered on the plastic resealable pouch, but to no avail.
An hour later, as we sat contemplating dinner in an East Village bistro, the room began to swim. Then the tables broke free and started to propel around the room. A wooshing as of a helium leak sounded in our ears. We battened down the hatches and plunged into dinner with increased gusto.
Nevertheless, three hours later, the effect continued unabated, and all of us marveled at how strong the caramel corn had been. It was at this point that I whipped out the empty plastic bag and located the one figure that made any sense to me: “Contains 1g cannabis sativa.”
Now a gram can usually produce two joints, so we’d eaten the equivalent of a half-joint apiece. In my experience, pot is twice as strong when eaten, partly because your body makes more efficient use of it. So eating a quarter bag of caramel corn was like smoking an entire joint of strong weed, the kind of joint you’d probably only need three hits of.
So the bag’s claim that it contained one serving was somewhat ridiculous. Then again, is there such a thing as being too stoned, my friends and I wondered as we sat hours later in the garden, orange trumpet vine flowers falling all around us.