Meet The Fokkens, Folks!


Louise and Martine Fokkens have been fokken a lot.

In their 70s, the identical twins have had a long life of selling their bodies in Amsterdam’s Red Light District windows.

(I can just hear onlookers whimsically singing, “How much is that Fokkens in the window?”)

And in the documentary Meet The Fokkens at Film Forum, they talk–with endless personality and charm–about their history with sex, love, men, heartbreak, abuse, and triumph over awful pimps.

Louise doesn’t need the money anymore (plus she’s arthritic), but Martine still hooks and is shown sitting and tapping on the window, desperately trying to get some consumer attention besides jeers and catcalls.

She does occasionally nab a trick, and their interactions are shown (with the man’s face blurred), the dominatrix-like Martine calmly jerking the guy off and one time wondering, “Is there any sperm left in those balls?”

Another time, she uses some vibrating device to rub up and down his shaft as if sanding a floor.

It’s effective, but the machine is on its last legs, so the Fokkens head to a sex toy store to buy a whole new vibrating thingie.

(“What is this?” one of them says as she surveys an elaborate device.

“Can you milk men nowadays?”)

All of this should be shocking, but the women are so cute, you just kind of go “Aww!”

And their giddily unselfconscious approach to discussing sex–at a time when old ‘hos are becoming obsolete–cuts through any artifice, especially when they talk about the chaplain they used to romance with the help of a makeshift confessional booth and a lot of “Hail, Marys”.

My only complaint is that, grammatically speaking, the movie should technically be called Meet The Fokkenses, but I know from experience that that kind of anal talk can really kill an erection.

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