Joe Biden Brings Precisely Nothing To Democratic Ticket


Following his latest derp-y bumblings about “putting y’all back in chains,” there’s been talk about replacing Vice President Joe Biden with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in the number two spot on the Democratic presidential ticket. And why not? Biden brings precisely nothing to the ticket other than gaffes, curse words, and references to slavery.

For starters, Biden is from Delaware, which offers a whopping three electoral votes and hasn’t voted for a Republican since 1988. Additionally, Barack Obama carried the state with 66 percent of the vote the last time around and will likely win it again — with or without Biden.

In other words, no political adviser has ever gone into a campaign and said “look, guys, we really gotta win Delaware or we…are…screwed.”

Being from Delaware aside, Biden’s popularity is at an all time low — TPM’s Polltracker has his favorability rating at about 40 percent these days, where it’s hovered since May, months before he told a room full of black Virginians that they can help him win back North Carolina, and that Mitt Romney wants to put them all back in chains.

In comparison, Clinton’s favorability rating is at an all-time high at 66 percent — and she doesn’t give Republicans the rhetorical ammo it needs to thoroughly bash Obama.

In fact, Biden himself even said “Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Let’s get that straight.”

What Biden brings to the table is his “every guy” persona, which has earned him the support of several labor unions and given him the ability to raise a ton of campaign coin. But raising money isn’t something that comes too hard to the former first lady — Clinton happens to be  married to this guy named Bill, who has a little experience in the fundraising department.

Biden’s “every guy” person is also the reason he makes such an ass of himself at the most inopportune moments (yes, we realize the passage of Obamacare was a “big fucking deal,” Joe. Thanks for letting us all know).

So, unless Barack Obama wants to watch Mitt Romney riding his pony on the White House lawn, it’s time to ditch the dope and give Hillary a call.

Have a look at some of the more epic Biden-isms below — and keep in mind, this is who Obama has picked to help him win the White House.