10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear During A Sex Hookup


For one-night stands, sex app hookups, and other impulsive acts of passion, these utterances are the exact opposite of Spanish fly.

(10) Yikes! You’re so not like your profile!

(9) Come on already! Get it up!

(8) Come closer, baby. You’re my baby. I love my baby.

(7) (singing) This is my once a year day…

(6) Let’s wrap this up. My boyfriend is going to be home any second and he gets violent.

(5) I hope you don’t think I’m gonna go near that!

(4) Does my breath smell like the guy I just came from?

(3) Best orgasm I ever faked.

(2) I hear this AIDS thing is going around, so I’ve stopped doing Poppers.

(1) Lick my fourth nipple!

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 22, 2012

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