New York

Fashion Week Is Approaching: Here Are The Rules


Starting September 6, Fashion Week will bring an explosion of couture and hauteur to Lincoln Center and other venues, and it’s best that you know what to do about it or you could get sucked into a giant Dust Buster and shot into the trash with all the other discarded sequins.

Here are the rules:

*Don’t feel as if you have to go to every single show.

This isn’t a charity for you. It’s a business. You have to parcel out your appearances with economy and foresight. And you don’t want to end the week looking as pasty and wasted as some of the high-paying models.

(Wait, maybe you do.)

Don’t complain about your seat.

At least you got a seat.

There are plenty of people in China who have no fashion show seats at all!

*Don’t whoop whenever your favorite model traipses down the runway.

People will start to wonder if you have Tourette’s, or worse, if you’re friendly with models.

*Spend as much time as possible in the lobby of the Lincoln Center tent.

That’s the waiting area where you can schmooze, mingle, get photographed, grab free gifties, and even occasionally have fun.

*Never repeat an outfit.

Especially if you’re crashing.

It will make you look like a crasher who repeats outfits.

*Drop made-up names.

“I just came from Ana Lycenzwcs’s show. Divine!” “Have you seen Rodrigo? He owes me an assignment.” “Pavla LeChampagne invited me to the most amazing after-party!”

Everyone will be so dazzled they will assume these are famous people–and in fact people at all.

*Make a point of occasionally pretending to glide your fingers down your keypad with a look of intent concern.

That will give everyone the idea that you’re frantically blogging or live tweeting the shows.

And that will help you get invited back.

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