Furniture Steals The Show at Republican Convention!


The centerpiece of the convention last night was a chair–a perfectly ordinary looking one, mind you–which Clint Eastwood talked to in a bizarre, stammering speech that must have been inspired by the works of Samuel Beckett.

The Oscar winning actor/director kept glancing at the empty chair and saying stuff like, “So, Mr President, how do you handle promises you made?…How do you handle it?”


“What do you mean, shut up?” snarled Eastwood to the chair, feigning annoyance. “I’m not gonna shut up. It’s my turn!”

There were some titters, but this whole routine should probably have been unplugged like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby.

“Wow, that was bad” was one notable person’s tweet.

“What the heck is THIS?” tweeted another commentator.

Messaged Roger Ebert: “Clint, my hero, is coming across sad and pathetic. He didn’t need to do this to himself.”

Yet, Eastwood might have a future doing commercials for Ikea.

Or he can walk through various urban neighborhoods conversing with abandoned furniture.

A lot of times during the speech, the audience members were shown looking dazed, though they did audibly cheer when he looked into the audience–all sitting in their own chairs–and said, “I never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to be President anyway.”

They all forgot that Mittens has a law degree.

Anyway, you can all go ahead and vote for Romney, but I’m voting for the chair.

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 31, 2012

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