I recently wrote about the disappointing box office takes of films like The Watch and Total Recall.
But make way for some major Oogie hate.
The G-rated animated film Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure popped on arrival, fizzling so badly it constitutes the worst box office bow in history!
Imagine opening in 2060 theaters and grossing a measly $47 a screen on your first night, entering the charts at number 17?
That means approximately 6.75 humans straggled in to each sparsely populated theater that evening.
Off-Broadway holocaust musicals do better.
The puppet show I do once a month in my bathroom does better!
The multi-million-dollar weapon of mass destruction didn’t exactly soar with the weekend either, still drawing more flies than people, as moviegoers went to lots of other things instead.
The film–which has been described as a personal obsession on behalf of a “marketing whiz” who never made a movie before–is aimed at kindergartners who are urged to gurgle and even scream at the screen.
And they would certainly do the latter if they were there!
But they’re staying home in droves, clearly terrified by the boldly colored puppet kids who look like Teletubbies crossed with young Republicans.
Besides, they’ve never heard of these freaks!
Two bits of good news come out of this, though:
The marketing whiz has declared, “This was never about box office.” Oh, that’s good.
And suddenly Colin Farrell is thinking, “Whew! I don’t have the biggest bomb of 2012.”