Trenton Mayor Tony Mack was arrested this morning after authorities say he solicited bribes in exchange for a city-funded contract to build a parking garage. We’ve read the entire 31-page indictment — and it’s hilarious.
With a bevy of aliases like “The Fat Man,” “The Little Guy,” “Honey Fitz,” and “JoJo,” the indictment reads more like a script for the Sopranos than something that actually could happen in real life — or outside of New Jersey.
“Uncle Remus” is code for the money Mack and his co-defendant — convicted pervert/enormous fatso Joseph Giorgianni — solicit from a private contractor, and he uses analogies like “an empty garbage bag can’t stand up unless you put garbage in it” to secretly explain that bribes are expected.
It’s terrific in that “Seriously, New Jersey? Seriously?” sort of way.
Read the entire complaint below.