New York

It’s the Post Office Customers Who Are Going Postal Now!


It used to be that post office workers were stereotypically accused of going “postal” and turning batshit psycho out of sheer boredom.

But the mail tables have turned!

At my post office yesterday, there was a long line of old-school types who wanted to actually land-mail something, and because things were moving rather slowly, there was serious agitation in the air.

You see, so many post offices have been closed and counters sealed off that you now might be in for a 20-minute wait just to send a candle to your Aunt Edna.

Well, the woman in front of me on line was not having it.

“They’re cutting down on post offices,” she balked to no one in particular, “but adding new banks!

“It’s all in reverse!

“It’s all part of the corruption of the federal government!”

“The feds have nothing to do with the post office,” noted the man behind me, unwittingly creating a Musto sandwich of irritability and no mustard.

“It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “The bank people should all be in jail and the federal government should give money to the post office!

“It’s all our President’s fault!

“He has no time to meet with Netanyahu! Too busy doing talk shows!!

“And Clinton has the nerve to get up in front of the convention!

“And not one person asked him why he repealed the Glass-Steagall Act, which would have protected us from a recession and corruption!

“All they need to do is approve that and we’ll be fine!

“I’d rather have the President of Duane Reade be our President,” she added for effect.

“Which Duane Reade?” countered the man, sardonically. “I’m partial to the one on 40th and Madison. The manager there would be a great President.”

“They should just nuke the whole country and make it flat!” she now exclaimed as my heart started racing lots faster.

Finally, she got called to do her business–probably mailing a hate letter to Obama– and then I finally got to do mine.

And next time I will go to Federal Express.

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