I know them really well–mainly because I’ve said them all!
So here, hopefully for the last time, are the most boringly trite things people utter these days about the world around us while thinking they’re being incredibly observant:
“The economy is in the toilet!”
Oh, hush. In the time you said that, you could have started scrubbing the toilet–and maybe even gotten paid for it.
“New York has gotten so safe and sanitized. The edge is gone.”
And that’s why you moved to a terrace apartment in Ronkonoma?
“Rap music is so dirty and demoralizing. It’s shameful! It demeans us!”
Yeah, same goes for rock, dance, r&b, and even Broadway. Get used to it, c word.
“Reality shows are so dumb. They’re all made up! There’s no ‘reality’ in them at all!”
No!!! Really???? I’m absolutely…zzzzzzz…….
“Stars today don’t have the lasting power of the ones years ago.”
Oh! You mean, like Eva Tanguay? Keefe Brasselle? Lupe Velez? Mr. Ed? Topo Gigio? Clara Peller?
“Gay people are so bitchy!”
We are not! Fuck you, missy! Shove it up your keyster with a hot curling iron!