No one does Bingo like Murray Hill and Linda Simpson, who punctuate the game with banter, insults, and special prizes from the 99-cent store leading up to a big cash prize that people buy lots of extra $2 boards to desperately try and win.
The two lovable oddballs have been hosting Bingo Tuesdays at xl (though the event might move to another night), and last night they managed to Bingo off all sorts of offbeat tchotchkes, plus porn, a bathroom rug, and a $135 grand prize.
One of the big winners was a butch gal who said she was an associate producer on The Jerry Springer Show. Not surprising.
When two twinks tied on another game, they had to compete for a pair of piggy banks by doing a piggy voice and also having a very fierce dance-off.
One of them, a guy from Philadelphia, refused to do the voice (“This is so degrading”), prompting Murray to snarl, “Let’s hear it for a gay male stereotype. He’s a bitch and a queen.”
But he did dance well, so they tied, each getting a lovely wittle bank to take home. B-i-n-g-o!
Later, the bitchy queen was one of three Bingo-nabbing contestants who vied for a prize of “alcohol from the bar” and had to get naked for the big challenge.
The guy was too degraded to do a piggy voice, but he managed to get flat-out starkers in two minutes!
Just to get a drink ticket!
At least he got one!
By the way, I finally got Bingo, tieing with a lovely lady named Shonda.
I beat her in the cancellation round, but I recused myself as press and nobly let her win the two 3D doggie placemats.
But Murray and Linda insisted I take home a back scrubber just for the hell of it.
Maybe I can use it on the Philadelphia queen.