The Best Burger Chain In The Country Is Announced


They polled a bunch of (barely) human hogs and heifers and decided that the best burger chain in the country…

isn’t McDonald’s.

That place ranked towards the rock bottom of the list, barely higher than Jack in the Box and Dairy Queen.

(Wait, Dairy Queen serves burgers? Can you get ice cream on that?)

Burger King isn’t king either. It did better than McDonald’s, but worse than Wendy’s, which by the way barely scraped the top 10.

But here are the five top joints, the ones that are apparently worth the animal slaughter and human cholesterol gains:

5) Smashburger

4) A&W restaurant

3) Fuddruckers

2) In-N-Out

1) Five Guys

And thankfully we have two of those places in the NYC area.

There’s a Smashburger at 74 Dekalb Avenue in Brookllyn and Five Guys at various locations, including 196 Bleecker Street.

But I don’t want something that’s that popular, so I’ll just go to the A&W in Ronkonkoma and be happy with its medium glow.

Besides, I’ve always wanted to see Ronkonkoma!