“The Paperboy Is Great Trash”


So writes Roger Ebert, and he oughta know; he cowrote Beyond The Valley of the Dolls, that 1970 fantasia of drugs, music, and lunacy which is a kitschy coup of kook-culture entertainment (though to me, it’s not trash at all; it’s pungent satire).

And The Paperboy–the Lee Daniels-directed tale of Southern trash investigating yet more trash–certainly seems to have all the elements:

Nicole Kidman as an overripe sexual Barbie doll

The infamous urination scene. (Kindly let me hold it in and not describe that one more time. It’s leaked out everywhere else, so just go there, OK?)

Zac Efron writhing around in his extremely tighty tighties. A lot.

Macy Gray as the maid who jokes with Zac about masturbation issues.

And a big star as a gay who gets hog-tied.

On paper, it sounds like the ultimate good trash film–even beyond the Beyond–and totally up my dark alley.

Then why did I find it so damned dull?