“There Was a Young Man From Nantucket”


Before I finish that piece of perverse verse, let me give credit where credit is due:

It was said by legendary film director and letch Alfred Hitchcock (or someone playing him, anyway), who clearly had as much of a mind for naughty rhyme schemes as he did for diabolical murder plots.

Hitch (portrayed by Toby Jones) recites it in the HBO movie The Girl, about the making of the nature-gone-amok thriller The Birds, which had star Tippi Hedren tortured by flying things and a fat director.

In the back seat of a car with Tippi (Sienna Miller), Hitch goes for some sexual harassment in the form of this ribald rimerick–I mean limerick:

“There was a young man from Nantucket

Who had such a large cock he could suck it

Looked in the glass

And saw his own ass

And broke his neck trying to fuck it.”

Oy vey.

As Norman Bates said about his mother: “She just goes a little mad sometimes.”