“President Mitt Romney”


Say it loud and it’s like car exhaust spraying.

Say it soft and it’s almost like braying.

Mitt Romney…

We just got a Prez named Mitt Romney….

OK, let me not offend Sondheim one more second.

It’s just that, while it’s “the most horrible sound I’ve ever heard,” we’d better get used to it just in case a possible reality becomes an alarmingly definite nightmare.

I find that prepping myself for a horror always makes it go down a little bit easier if and when it actually happens.

In fact, I always think of myself as a year older than I really am, so when my birthday comes around, it isn’t nearly as painful.

I’ve been thinking of myself as that ungodly age all year long!

I might even start thinking of myself as 90, so I’ll be in calm, accepting spirits for quite some time.

So keep singing “President Romney” to yourself.

It’s for your own good.

It’ll buffet the blow (if it indeed blows).

It’ll enable you to go easier into that bad night.


And what the heck, here’s another ditty, to the tune of “Suddenly Seymour”:

President Romney

He terrified me

He don’t even notice

That I want my rights

President Romney can’t see that inside me

Is a Big Bird that’s crying

While wearing pink tights