Mitt Romney’s Under-Utilized Secret Weapon: Donald Trump (According To Donald Trump)

Pardon our redundancy, but the sun came up today, which, of course, means one thing: America’s stingiest billionaire made an ass of himself on Twitter.

On Wednesday, we started a petition to get Donald Trump kicked off the Internet, and we did so as a favor to him — to keep things like this from continuously happening.

But Trump is still granted Internet access, so his 140 -character or less nuggets of wisdom persist.

The latest: Mitt Romney could have won the the presidential election if he’d only asked Trump to campaign for him.

“Romney campaign used me in 6 primary states and won every one- they should have used me in Florida and Ohio & he would be President,” Trump tweeted this afternoon, apparently after catching a glimpse of an electoral map.

At a rate of roughly three to five “tweets” per hour, Trump wasn’t quite done tooting his own horn.

“Of the 9 battleground states, we only carried North Carolina. I’m proud of @NCGOP & glad I delivered keynote at their state convention,” he “tweets.”

Of course, there was a reason Trump was used (yes, used) during the primary but not during the general election: only in a GOP primary is Trump’s brand of conspiracy theory, batshit craziness appreciated.

In a race where Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum are considered credible candidates, Romney had no choice but to call on the king of conspiracy theories to prove to far-right-wing voters that “hey — I can do crazy, too.”

In other words, a tinfoil hat may work during a primary, but it’s not gonna fly in a general election — that’s why Romney didn’t use Trump: he didn’t want to get completely blown out in the general election.

The rest of Trump’s last 24 hours on Twitter include some ranting and raving about China, picking a fight with filmmaker Anthony Baxter, and humble-bragging about a woman who used a Trump-owned building to seek refuge from Hurricane Sandy.

Please, sign our petition.