Guy Fieri Takes Heat: The Best Lines From Reviews of Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar


Pete Wells’s uncensored review of Guy Fieri’s Times Square hangout took a turn for the, um . . . rhetorical. But other reviews (and one personal essay from our Nick Greene about the restaurant’s opening night) had some thoughts on Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar.

They found interesting ways to describe the food:
“An awkward origami of clashing aleatory flavors.” [NY Observer]
“Emulsified with a bombastic recasting of deep-fried American myth.” [NY Observer]
“A Sickly-sweet affair that pleases when you’re drunk at 2 a.m.” [NY Post]
“Creamy Parmesan sauce could moonlight as engine lubricant.” [NY Post]
“Woefully unawesome.” [VV]
“Sopping wet.” [VV]
“Critic-scorned slop.” [Time Out NY]

They thought the food looked peculiar:
“Turd shaped Awesome Pretzel Chicken tenders.” [NY Post]
“The chicken is presented on top of about a dozen french fries. I’m not sure why these are here.” [VV]

And remarked on what the servers were like:
“Grin[ned] like Mephistopheles.” [NY Observer]
“Studied the half-chewed pork, slaw, salmon, mashed potatoes, and maybe moon rocks we’d left on our plates.” [NY Post]

There was a joke about Flavortown:
“Miss[ed] the bus to Flavortown.” [Time Out NY]

There were thoughts on “donkey sauce”:
“Guy tasted the sauce and said one would have to be an ass to dislike it. Hence, “Donkey” sauce.” [VV]
“. . . How could things like ‘Unyawns cajun chicken ciabatta with donkey sauce’ not be awful?” [NY Post]
“A noxious blend of mayo, mustard, roasted garlic and Worcestershire.” [Time Out NY]

But a couple got to watch TV:
“Paula Deen was on.” [VV]
“Televised NFL barely took the edge off.” [NY Post]

Some were even kind of nice!
“Still, the cooking here could be much worse.” [Time Out NY]
“One good dish squeaked through: juicy, braised pork shank which, while tasting not at all of the promised General Tso, peeled easily from the bone.” [NY Post]

Well, maybe Guy likes the food.