Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor! My Review


Let me be brave and say that Lindsay Lohan is still a cute, appealing actress, even if her raspy voice betrays a prematurely hard-lived life.

But casting her as Liz Taylor was almost as much of a folly as Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s Audrey Hepburn!

In the Lifetime movie Liz & Dick that premiered last night, Lindsay couldn’t come close to capturing the uncanny mixture of class and vulgarity that was Liz Taylor, not to mention her radiant allure and riveting mood swings.

And while Grant Bowler approximated Richard Burton’s voice, he lacked his pockmarks, his darkness, and his utter self loathing.

He looked more like Alec Baldwin.

Together, Lohan and Bowler had no sexual heat, which made the parade of fights-and-makeups–narrated by the blabby corpses of Liz and Dick–come off much duller than they really were.

Making the film even more of a trial, everything was spelled out for dummies, so when Richard mentioned flying to Rome, the next shot said “Rome, Italy.”

When Liz furiously threw a bottle at a wall clock, she was then made to say, “I was so mad at Richard.”

But there were tons of costumes, and the second half became more watchable, as they entered the Virginia Woolf? period and loved and hated more desperately.

By the end, via sheer will and blowsiness, Lindsay actually looked like Liz.

Sort of.

I just hope I can be forgiven for thinking all through the scene in the jewelry shop, “Did Lindsay walk out with some of the stuff, assuming it was an unspoken ‘loan’ arrangement?”