When You’re With Someone Who Keeps Staring At Their Cell Phone…


Should you grab it out of their hands, crush it into bits, and throw it back in their face?

Let’s say you’re at the theater with them and looked forward to some quality social time, a little chitchat and actual human interaction to lube up the showgoing experience.

But no matter what you say, they blankly nod their head and don’t speak a word, so absorbed are they in getting their email, texting, and updating their Facebook page!

Sitting next to a mannequin would be more fun.

A store-window dummy wouldn’t answer anything you say either, but at least they wouldn’t be looking down the whole time.

There’s nothing serious going on in your friend’s phone, mind you–they’re not looking for updates on their mother in the hospital or anything like that–it’s just a compulsive act that makes you wonder why they didn’t just sit home and read their email!

You also have to wonder why you didn’t ask someone else to go–or just go alone–because this is an even more alienating, depressing experience than the Samuel Beckett revival you’re there to see (especially since it’s being performed backwards in Polish with circus clowns).

So what do you do?

Start screaming for help?

Do the crushing and throwing thing?


I generally find that a sharp, curt “Hey, are you going to look at your phone all night?” works wonders.

Until intermission.