Get Ready For Some Really Loooong Movies


Got three hours to kill?

Still have no power and feel anxious to spend long stretches of time anywhere where there’s heat and light?

Then you’re gonna love this season’s batch of Oscar-bait flicks.

They’re long.

They’re made by auteurs who treasure every moment of their own genius and can’t wait to share it sans interruption.

And you’re gonna love them, goddammit, no matter how old you are by the closing credits.

Here are the longest of the bunch:

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The characters are rather short, but the movie isn’t. It weighs in at 166 bagginsy minutes.

Zero Dark Thirty

You don’t catch bin Laden in an hour, you know. It takes 157 minutes, apparently. And Zero Dark Forty will be even longer.

Les Miserables

Mud and sweat and singing in closeup for les 155 minutes. Les lengthy, for sure.

Django Unchained

If you saw Lincoln, you already know it takes a while to unchain a slave. In this case, it’s 141 minutes filled with inglourious b-words.

This Is 40

Even comedies are long now! 134 minutes!

Oh, well. At least I kept this blog on the short side.