Real Life Fruit Ninja Destroys Watermelon, Salutes Kitten

“Alan Dershowitz, professor of law at Harvard University, stated that ‘testilying’—as police call it—has long been an open secret among prosecutors, defense lawyers, and judges."

“One of my supreme ambitions is to live to be 120 years old and be able to say I never set foot inside Bloomingdale's”

"More than any other contemporary African-American athlete, his ability to thrive in the pressure cooker of corporate America, while never making any embarrass­ing 'I’m not black, I’m universal' comments or selling his soul rather than just his visage, makes him a role model"

“Though his work for human rights is unassailable, the books grow worse and worse, the tales of his derring-do more and more farfetched. Finally, without at all forgiving him his lies, one feels sorry for Kosinski.”

“Belushi is a satirist not because he's mean or neurotic, he says, but because he likes to make people laugh”

“For the past 48 hours, while the President and his family had been once again resisting resigna­tion, his closest aides were conspir­ing behind his back to force him to resign.”