By Liz Tracy
Most of the people we met on the S.S. Coachella had never been on a cruise before. Like us, they weren’t so sure what to pack or how to dress for three days of awkwardly saying hi to their favorite bands on a floating building at sea. But, like the festival, the fans also brought their desert style to cruisin’ with mixed results.
We could sit here and talk about all the “types” of people who sailed out to Nassau, but really, we’d rather just show you. These are the most memorable fashion moments we caught on the maiden voyage of the S.S. Coachella. Get your eyebrows ready to raise.
10. Best Shorts of All Time
Onstage, Nick Offer of !!! is like a forest fire on a windy day. The heat off his thrusting pelvis is intoxicating. He is the party. And man, does this guy love his short shorts! As you can see, the ones he wore on the ship have the cover of the Rolling Stones’ Some Girls on them. These are actually the best shorts ever made.
9. Totally to Tie Dye for
Can we just say that these two dudes in tie-dye jumpers are wearing Keds and Toms. Cannot think of less ravery shoes to match these adolescent Burning Man ensembles. They look like giant toddlers with fanny packs.
8. Best Nautically Dressed
This lovely lady from Goldenvoice was, far and away, clad in the best dress-hat-shoe combos ever worn on the Celebrity Silhouette.
7. Inner Beauty
Gaslamp Killer not only murdered it behind the decks, he also wore the baddest anatomical shirt we’ve ever seen. And that hair! Oh, that hair.
These two do a great job resembling, well, twins. Sure they’re both skinny white dudes wearing matching outfits, but are they actually related?
Besides looking like each other and total dorks, they actually also kinda look great. And (cruise friendly) their junk is on full display, so no mystery there. One word of advice: You could’ve added to the getup by losing the pipes.
When sunning in the Bahamas, it’s easy to forget that Christmas is in like five days. But these two are absolutely, totally not gonna let you forget it’s the holiday season. They look like nice people, but please, no.
Sure the cut’s a little “Girls That Look Like Skrillex,” but this lady is wurkin’ it. And hard. Come on, there’s an Albert Einstein tat on her thigh and those shorts almost rival Nick Offer’s.
3. The Eternal Struggle
This aggressive lucha libre wasn’t messing around when the lens was pointed his way. He was mugging for every camera in sight and bouncing like a ball during Girl Talk’s set. Anyone brave enough to wear a cape on a cruise gets a nod from us.
2. Three-Hour Tour
You’d have thought it was the Copacabana with the feathers in the hair! Though drag is fantastic, it’s interesting that they stuck with the Gilligan’s Island theme of the Black Lips’ pub crawl without dressing like ladies.
1. Hats Off, Friends
These two sort of define the main fun styles of the cruise. There’s the clearly Australian, dread-headed, hip raver and the guy in sequins, eye makeup, and a captain’s hat. Though we saw plenty of fake boobs and bros by the pool, these fashionistas captured the spirit of the cruise with their tropical chic and toothy smiles.