Is Madonna Menopausal? One Drag Queen Weighs In


Drag star Hedda Lettuce entertained that theory in her holiday show, “Lettuce Rejoice,” which I saw at the Metropolitan Room last night.

In fact, Hedda sang a whole song about it, to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.”

(Sample lyrics, aimed at poor Madge: “You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry/No more tampax ’cause your vajayjay’s bone dry/Menopause is coming to town…”)

In the raucously wicked show, Hedda also ragged on RuPaul’s Drag Race:

“Any bitch with a nappy ‘do and a blade in her weave can become a star. We had faces then.”

She also noted that this time between Christmas and New Year’s is “the taint of the holiday season,” a time when Hedda admits “I’m in a food coma. I’m shitting cookie dough.”

But not being menopausal herself, she still had the energy to recommend holiday gifts, urging, “A chick with a dick is the best present of all. A dick in your ass and tits on your back! You do the math.”

Hedda ended by singing “Phylicia Rashad” to the tune of “Feliz Navidad.”

I wonder if menopause came to Claire Huxtable’s town too.