As you might know by now, today is the last day of the year. Take advantage of these few hours before midnight to review every “Best Of 2012″ list out there because their timeliness will soon be quelled by the imminent switch in our non-Mayan calendar. Once that clock strikes 12, mankind will turn the page on another year of existence, hitting “Refresh” on what we’ve digested over the past 365 days. That’s a lot of pressure.
Alas, 2012 was definitely a weird
year (but, then again, aren’t they all?). From Mitt Romney to Honey Boo Boo, America flashed her freakish flares while we sat back and watched from behind a TV or computer screen. There’s no need to go over everything that happened; as mentioned before, that’s what the “Best Of 2012” lists are for, right?
With that being said, it’s never too early to reel out a few predictions for the New Year. And, of course, what better way to organize that crystal ball mentality than a list? Based off what we’ve witnessed since last January, there are a few solid calls we can make about 2013. Ten of them, actually. And here they are:
1. More politics as f***ing usual. Regardless of its outcome, the fiscal cliff crisis has taught us one extremely inconvenient truth: Gridlock is here to stay. Election Night didn’t change a damn thing: The House Republicans will sustain their anti-everything platform, the Senate Democrats will still cave to whomever, and President Obama will remain powerless in his bully-less pundit. Sorry, politickers, 2013 is going to be no different than the past two years in Washington. Then again, Mr. Obama doesn’t have to worry about re-election anymore. . . .
2. More social media and tech nonsense.
Facebook buys the eight-person-run Instagram for $1 billion. Facebook’s highly speculated IPO falls flat in Downtown Manhattan. Apple and Samsung bicker over billion-dollar patents. Google duels it out with Microsoft over search engine supremacy. Apple Maps replaces Google Maps. And, amid everything, millions of dollars are being poured into Snapchat. Overwhelmed yet? Get used to it, because we’re only just
beginning to see what can happen when tech companies grow up.
3. The mayoral election of a lifetime
. After 12 years in power, Bloomberg is out of the picture.
That is all, New York.
4. The continued Manhattanization of Brooklyn.
We’re sorry, the “hidden borough” you know and love died a long time ago. All eyes are on Kings County, as real estate developers carve out condos for the newly-discovered-but-always-there neighborhoods. And with catchy names, too: For example, do you know where ProCro and BoCoCa are? Neither do we! And, with rents skyrocketing to Manhattan levels
, think of Brooklyn like one big Bleecker Street: A few decades ago, sure, it was the place to be
. Now you’re lucky if you don’t have to pay a cover charge. Consider Barclays Center a subtle reminder of what’s to come.
5. The Supreme Court decision of a lifetime.
After three years of appeal, the Nine will rule on the constitutionality
of same-sex marriage and the Defense of Marriage Act. That is all, America.
6. More pot-legalization talk.
Passing the vote by wide margins in Colorado and Washington, our War on Drugs conversation has finally gone mainstream, as more states (including New York
) are considering efforts to significantly decriminalize and maximize profits off of marijuana; seven of which include full legalization
. Why? It’s the fifth year straight of stagnant economic growth and crippled state budgets. Expect lawmakers to pull the whole “We’re still
broke as hell” card. All power to you.
7. Less memes and GIFs. Sorry, BuzzFeed users and Redditors (myself included), but they’re gonna have to get old sometime.
8. Less Tea Party nonsense. Although the first installment on this list mentioned the continuity of obstructionism on the Hill, that doesn’t mean that these guys are leading the pack. After the 2010 midterm electoral shift, the fringe newcomers proved to America two things: that their inexperience means, duh, they have no idea what they’re doing and that their ideas are wildly unpopular with the majority of Americans. These political revelations were confirmed this Election Day, when idiots like Richard Murdock, Todd Akin, and Allen West were tossed out of office faster than you can say “socialized medicine.” Mostly because none of them could resist talking about rape and abortion. Good riddance.
9. More gun control talk.
This is something we’ve mentioned a few
times since the horrific events in Newtown. Like we see with pot legalization, a conversation that hasn’t been seriously held in decades is once again being rehashed. On Saturday, Democrats announced that a high-capacity magazine clip ban will be introduced to Congress on January 3, their first
day back in Washington. And the signs of a policy showdown are everywhere: The NRA
has begun its campaign to arm everyone; Bloomberg and other mayors are demanding reform
; Governor Cuomo is proposing unprecedented
legislation in Albany; President Obama has organized a team of lawmakers to create policy; and now, more than ever before, large numbers of Americans are calling for change to our views on firearms. Let the battle begin.
10. The Second Avenue Subway. Kidding.