You have surely seen the picture of Jets coach Rex Ryan on the front page of today’s New York Daily News by now. Ryan was captured shirtless and sunbathing in the Bahamas, displaying a previously unseen tattoo of his wife, Michelle. The tattoo shows Michelle kneeling in a come-hither pinup pose wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey. If you woke up from a 20-year coma today and sprinted to a newsstand to find out about the modern world you finally inhibit with conscious mind, you would see the New York Daily News‘s cover and have many, many questions. So do we.
-Did the Daily News fly photographer Andrew Theodorakis to the Bahamas for this assignment? If so, is the Daily News hiring?
-What kind of camera was Theodorakis using? I assume it was a very good one because not only did it snap a clear photo of Rex’s tattoo, it also captured his deep thoughts escaping from his skull in the shape of Mark Sanchez inside of a bubble.
-“Rex’s QB Sneak: Gets Dirty Tat of Wife in Sanchez Shirt.” Is this really a “dirty tat?”
-The quality of the tattoo is pretty sub-par. This is not a question, but an observation. I mean, look at the thing. ENHANCE:
She has the arms of a seal.
-Speaking of seals, the Daily News says Rex was reading “American Sniper,” by Navy SEAL Chris Kyle. Here’s the Amazon link to it, in case the sight of a shirtless NFL coach piqued your interest.
-Is Rex wearing sunscreen? Judging by his last name (and his wife/Sanchez-adjacent shamrock tattoo), he is Irish and should be careful in the sun.
-Are those cops okay?