Defend Your Ballot: Nick Greene, Who Didn’t Get a Pazz and Jop Ballot


You can’t really know where you’re headed unless you know where you’ve been. For that reason, we’re taking a look back at Pazz & Jop 2012 to drill down into the ballots of contributors and voters who participated. Maybe amongst the rubble we’ll find clues about what lies ahead for music lovers in 2013. Here, we talk to Voice web editor/incredibly funny Tweeter Nick Greene, who didn’t get a ballot.

For our readers, could you briefly describe what you do here at the Voice?
I am the Web Editor at the Voice. I edit and manage the website, which is what our readers are reading right now. This. I am editing and managing this, as I am being interviewed. A high-wire act, if you will. (Like a self-cleaning oven).

So it seems. How much music writing do you think you read in an average week?
That depends. Do people complaining on Twitter count as “music writing?” If so, I read probably 9,000,000,000,000,000,000 words of music writing a week.

A few days ago you asked about voting in next year’s Pazz. If you had voted this year, what would have been on your ballot?
Hmm, that is tough to say. I loved Miguel’s album, and Fiona Apple’s as well. Those would probably be 1 and 2 for me. Kendrick is up there too, but after those I’d really have to think and probably put some undeserving albums there just to fill up the list. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t vote, I would’ve swayed everything towards Rush. (Because I would’ve placed Rush too high even though I listened to their album like once.)

I understand that you are from Chicago. Is this true?
I am indeed from Chicago. Please let this next question be about food recommendations.

What food would you recommend I get from the vending machine before I start asking you about Chief Keef?
Trail Mix. Get me some too because I am going to need the energy in order to talk about Chief Keef.

I notice that Chief Keef was not among the artists you mentioned. Did you listen to the album? Would “Don’t Like” have been on your singles ballot, perhaps?
I don’t think I would put the album on my top ten — I just wasn’t crazy about it. “Don’t Like” is good, but I kind of hate how it’s become this gimmicky-joke thing. “What does Keef like? Let’s make it a hashtag!” It reminds me of that Simpsons episode when Bart was Krusty’s sidekick and had the “‘I didn’t do it’ Catchphrase.”

I don’t think it would be on my top ten singles, either. But Chief Keef is so young, he’s got plenty of time to make my future ballots, which should be his only goal.

Besides Rush, were there any albums that you enjoyed but that did poorly in the poll?
Delta Spirit. I liked that album a lot. And maybe Ja Rule, PIL2. I will not be answering any follow-up questions about Ja Rule.

Because this series is called “Defend Your Ballot,” I need to make you defend something. Will you defend your Pazz web editing? Know that our bosses may be reading.
I will defend it, but not in some B.S. Internet tough guy way. If anyone out there has a problem with the Pazz and Jop editing, meet me outside our office for a beatdown, SummerSlam style. Get away from your keyboard and come get suplexed like the jabroney you are.

Lots to think about. Thank you for your time.
You’re welcome. I’m glad you learned so much.

Swans’ Most Terrifying Songs
On Odd Future, Rape and Murder, And Why We Sometimes Like the Things That Repel Us
How Not To Write About Female Musicians: A Handy Guide