With the resurrection of the Die Hard movie franchise (number five, A Good Day to Die Hard, is out Valentine’s Day), inevitably comes reflection. Where did Bruce Willis’ hair go? Why did the series stop numbering its films? And have the movies always had such ridiculous titles? The answer to the last one, certainly, is yes. Die Hard 2: Die Harder was plenty goofy, but A Good Day to Die Hard significantly raises the bar. And if there’s anything Die Hard takes as seriously as its titles, it’s killing people. In the spirit of absurdity, exhaustion, and a great longing for Willis’ long-lost locks, we present you with bar-raising titles of our own, inspired by the most spectacular deaths of the series. By Diana Clarke.
– A Good Day to Die Hard, and to Die Alone by Keith Phipps.