New York

The Worst Excuses Given For Not Going To A Friend’s Event


I had an event recently, so I heard every single one of them:

*Sorry, I’m busy on Thursday.

You want to yell back, “But the event is Saturday!”

*I had a bronchial cough and suddenly didn’t feel well enough.

Honey, if everyone who says they’re too sick to go to an event really was sick, the World Health Organization would have an international crisis on their hands. Besides, no one gets too sick for their own event, do they?

*I just saw this invite for some reason! And the event was last night! Damn. I would have so loved to go.

Yeah, right. Keep spinning, Sherlock.

*Similarly: The invite went to Spam! Damn. I would have so loved to go. Blah blah blah.

Please. It’s your mind that’s turning to spam.

*Sorry, a friend came into town, so I couldn’t make it.

But you could have easily brought them. Why not just take the blame yourself rather than place it on this unwitting and/or imaginary other person?

In any case, the gig sold out, so a much better excuse would have been: “We went and tried to get tickets, but there were none left!”

Alas, they didn’t think of that one.

Archive Highlights