New York

Runaway Success-Train Donald Trump Knows What’s Wrong With America


At CPAC (that’s “Conservative Political Action Conference” for those of you who don’t trust the liberal bias of acronyms) this morning, Donald Trump told the gathered audience of Email chain letter–forwarders that “Our Country is in very, very serious trouble.” Luckily, Trump let everyone know exactly what is wrong with America—and also what is right. If you don’t have time to watch the video below, we’ve condensed his insights into a potent stew, much like Trump Cologne (available at Macy’s).

Things that are wrong with America: Lack of Europeans Bad tents Too many Korean TVs (although Trump just bought 3,000) Karl Rove The White House’s refusal to build a Trump-funded $50-$100 million ballroom People on TV who wear dirty shirts and say bad things about Donald Trump Mitt Romney’s modesty Inability to take Iraq’s oil to “pay ourselves back” (big applause) Expensive aircraft carrier engines used to protect South Korea

Things that are right with America: Donald Trump Trump Doral Resort in Miami

Archive Highlights