Taylor Swift Nose Job? Penelope Cruz “Diastatsis Recti”? Expert Available!


One of the joys of my job is being continually pitched experts who want to talk on the record about some hoohaha in the gossip news so they can offer their wisdoms while enhancing their brands.

Here are three recent pitches that came my glorious way on the heels of celebrity stories that made some rather obscure specialists desperate to chime in. Please let me know which, if any, I should pursue:

1) “Taylor Swift is gracing the cover of Elle magazine’s March 2013 issue, revealing her new grown up look. Is it just hair and makeup that has altered her image or is it something more? Boston’s leading Facial Plastic Surgeon [so-and-so] believes the cover photos show a scar on Swift’s nose from a possible rhinoplasty. Could she have had plastic surgery? Please let me know if you are interested in speaking with Dr. so-and-so on why he believes she had rhinoplasty–he hasn’t treated her but has some interesting comments on her look.”

2) “Recent photos show Penelope Cruz debuting her growing belly while vacationing in Barbados. While each celebrity’s pregnant body is different, Penelope’s belly is visibly growing outward, which could mean separation of the abdominal wall, also known as diastatsis [sic] recti. It’s not a tear, but a sideways stretch that pulls apart the two halves of the ‘6-pack’ muscles. I’d love to offer you [so-and-so], founder of The [such-and-such] Method™, which is a science-based pre- and postnatal fitness system for women that offers a wealth of information to help correctly train their abdominal muscles for total body fitness before, during and after pregnancy. [They] would be great to talk about Penelope’s growing stomach, as well as how other celebrities with the same baby bump can get their bodies back after the baby is born.”

3) And furthermore: “Kim Kardashian recently revealed her love of Vampire Facelifts and/or Facials on a recent episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami. This procedure uses the patient’s own blood after drawing it from their arm, they spin the platelets and then put the blood on your face with tiny needles. The procedure is said to give you a youthful look. Is this the latest trendy hoax or does it actually work? Our plastic surgeons in Boston, MA, and Los Angeles, CA, are available to comment on the technique, if they use it, and how commonly it is requested. Please let me know if you would like to speak with an expert.”

So which, shall it be, people? Give me your expert advice.

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