Close your eyes and think back to a time over one hundred years ago. Wait–don’t close your eyes; you won’t be able to read this. Shit, have you already closed them? Great, now you have no idea of what we’re trying to show you. If anyone happens to walk by the person sitting in front of their computer with their eyes closed, give them a nudge–we want to show them a really old video from Easter Sunday in New York.
The video, titled “New York City Street Scene Easter 1900,” shows us a world that is barely recognizable today. Mustaches, hats, elaborate dress — well, actually, this could have been filmed on Bedford Avenue this afternoon.
Let’s see if we can break this video down. Everything happened so fast! (Just kidding, nothing happened fast back then. Except the spread of disease.)
Here we have a view of Fifth Avenue. Too bad there are no more trolleys. Wouldn’t that be preferable to crosstown buses? Why not block off every tenth street in Manhattan for traffic and place trolleys there. That’d be incredibly efficient. Make it happen, Christine Quinn, Bill De Blasio, Jose Canseco, or whoever the next mayor is.
What the hell are you two looking at? Haven’t you seen a camera before? You haven’t? Never mind then, carry on.
Here we have a man talking to three women. In public. Just right out there, talking in the open. In 1900, this was the equivalent of sex. A wild steamy four-way happening on Easter Sunday for all the world to see. Nice.
The last 30 seconds of this video is just the camera guy filming women’s butts. Seriously, he’s like, “Got a good 45 seconds of typical New York street life, time to record some asses.”
See? Even more butts. This guy was a real piece of work 113 years ago. May his creepy-ass soul rest in peace.