Warm Weather Activities for People Who Hate Going Outside

It’s finally over: The longest winter in memory (which doesn’t go back further than last spring) has ended. Forecasts for New York are in the 60s and life is good. No more complaining about staying inside because of the bitter cold, no more whining about not being able to ride your bike to flea markets, no bitterness about the months of non-al fresco dining.

Damn it, no more excuses for staying inside all day. But you love staying inside–that’s where the fast wifi is!

This weekend marks the beginning of months-long guilt about staying at home when it’s so beautiful out. Why not meet halfway? We’ve concocted some fun activities that give you the outdooors experience in the comfort of your own dark apartment.

Give these a shot, they’re better than jogging in the park:

Order Seamless with the window open

Shop for sunglasses on Amazon

Watch the Weather Channel naked

Listen to reggae in the bath

Grill hot dogs on a Weber Grill in your living room (WARNING: Fire Hazard. ANOTHER WARNING: Delicious!)

Apply suntan lotion on top of your pajamas

Pace around the bedroom … in sandals!

Drink margaritas on the toilet

Cry in your bed with the air conditioning on

[@nickgreene]