The Worst of Coachella, Weekend One


Daft Punk Fake-Out
Friday and Saturday, all anyone could talk about was if Daft Punk was going to show up during Phoenix’s set. Why? Because we were fucking teased. On the main stage before the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, a long commercial for their new album played, and then we found out that members of the duo were in attendance. Yeah sure the group denied they would perform this year, but it seemed at the time to be one of those winking denials. Now it just seems like they were trying to hype their album. As our pal Andrea Domanick put it: “Shouting Daft Punk at Coachella is like shouting fire in a crowded movie theater.” -Daniel Kohn

Overcrowded Tents
When 2Chainz played at the Mojave Stage at 4:00 on Saturday, he overflowed it to the point of chaos. For many in the crowd — which could be more accurately described as a mob — it was not only impossible to see Tity Boi himself, but also frustratingly hard to hear because of the sound filtering in from other stages. Who can get properly nasty to “R.I.P.” when the thud of Kill the Noise is a couple yards away? 2Chainz and a several others like Major Laser and Alt-J clearly should have been scheduled on the Outdoor or Main stages. -Kai Flanders

Guy Peeing In the Corner
On Saturday we were relaxing by the drinks tent in the VIP section, like the very important people we are. One of the benefits of said section is that there are usually no lines for the bathroom, as was the case when a dude in a white t-shirt pulled up to a spot of grass only about 20 feet from us — and started peeing. When he was done, we pointed at the nearby toilet trailer and asked what was up. “It feels more human,” to go on the ground, he replied. “Closer to nature.” Gee whiz. Dude probably doesn’t pick up his dog’s poop either. -Ben Westhoff

The Fucking Wind
Never did we think we’d be complaining about less-than-scorching temperatures in Indio, but a mid-afternoon wind storm Sunday cast a grey blanket over the polo fields. Sure, the dust is always bad at Coachella, but with the mounting gustiness swiping an assortment of hats, props and blow up dolls, we wondered if we’d see a repeat of the madness caused by wind problems at EDC. Either way, it forced us to close our eyes and walk blindly in whatever direction sounded like the band we were going to see. Thankfully Mike Ness’s voice is pretty distinct. -Nate Jackson

Leaving early
Was it just us, or did everyone leave hella early this year? Granted, the headliners weren’t quite as exciting as some years past, but it felt weird to see so many people hitting the bricks before midnight. -Daniel Kohn

Johnny Marr
We were quite excited to see Johnny Marr, and a big reason for that is because he promised to play Smiths songs. And he did, they were just…terrible. The opening strains of “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” got us all pumped, but then he started singing Morrissey’s words. The problem? Sure, Marr’s voice isn’t as good, but our main gripe is that he sounded so damn unenthused. Passionless. Also, during another Smiths’ track, “How Soon Is Now,” he didn’t even play the lead guitar part. -Mary Carreon

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