Theater archives

Erectile Dysfunction Is Big On Broadway This Year


It takes three instances of something to make a trend, and I’ve got ’em! Here comes a trio of wilting manhoods, all on the Broadway stages this very season.

In Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Nick–the young house guest–has a raunchy flirtation with the blowsy earth mother Martha, but he’s too drunk to do anything about it, as she reminds him again and again afterwards.

Another drunk, another another revival: In Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, the thrust (as it were) of the play is the emotionally crippled Brick’s inability to make babies–or anything–with wife Maggie, who brays and moans and even talks to an empty chair about how she wants to get laid already. (See above photo. Brick has a crutch. Get it?)

And now, in Motown The Musical, that label’s founder Berry Gordy doesn’t exactly top the charts his first time in the sack with Diana Ross. The superdiva notices his floppo performance, then comfortingly remarks, “A least you have power over everything else.” Then she launches into a boudoir performance of “I Hear a Symphony”!

It should have been “Touch Me In The Morning.” Or “Reach Out and Touch.” Or “Where Did Our Love Go?” I’ll stop now.