Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets the lowest dregs of Amazon.
Thanks to the dawn of e-readers and the death of the gatekeepers of traditional publishing, disenfranchised voices at last have the chance to reach a mass audience. At long last, white people are no longer being denied the opportunity to express their white views to the world.
Thanks to Amazon’s “sure, we’ll e-publish anything!” policy, even the dumbest of white people now has a platform to share the white perspective. And we would point out that especially industrious white authors like Paul Kersey or H.A. Covington, both below, might even manage to make a few shekels on the deal, but we half-suspect that “shekels” might have something to do with the Organized Jewry these fellows so fear, so we’ll keep that to ourselves.
Anyway, here’s an overview at five works of lily whiteness, all available for an instant download on Amazon — and, as a dispiriting bonus, a quick look at the tastes of the Amazon reviewers who champion this crap. Note: All quotes come from the publicly available preview of the books. Your Crap Archivist spent no money on these, because, seriously, fuck these guys.
The Barnacles of Aegir
Author: Gregory Kay
Genre: Science fiction
The Cover Promises This is the Jonathan Livingston Seagull of whites-only barnacle-focused science fiction novels.
Premise: After a great war, the remnants of the white race are enslaved to Hindus, because that is totally a thing that Hindus are itching for. The surviving whites team up into a secret rr-and-d group called the Foundation, built by survivors of the Orthodox Church. (“Dissident” Catholics and Protestants join in, too, we’re told, the implication being that most Catholics and Protestants sided with the Hindus.) Being brilliant in ways their masters never could, the whites build the first interstellar star ship and launch a hail-Mary Noah’s Ark into the cosmos, with lots of purebred sperm and embryo on board.
An Actual Sentence: “Jerrik knew food, at least, shouldn’t be a problem, even though the Aegirian ecosystem was purely native, unadulterated by the stocking of Old Earth flor and fauna like virtually all inhabited worlds in white space were.”
Current Amazon Kindle Store Best Sellers Rank: #1,091,106
Five-Star Amazon Reviewer Harold Ray Crews Says: “I whole heartily recommend this book”
Other Products Harold Ray Crews Has Reviewed: Django Uncahined (One star, “utterly despicable,” “instills anti-white hatred”); 100% Silk Woven Colorful Gingham Blue and Gray Self-Tie Bow Tie (Two stars; “All you need are the clown shoes with a tie that size.”)
Upsetting Fact: According to his blog, Gregory Kay is invited every October to read from his work to fourth graders.
Escape from Detroit: The Collapse of America’s Black Metropolis
Author: Paul Kersey
Genre: Purportedly Non-fiction
The Cover Promises That everything you need to know about Detroit’s bad half-century can be found in the contrast between the public art commissioned when the city had a majority white population (the above photo, of God) and when it has had a majority black population (the below photo, of the fist of Joe Louis)
Premise: White flight was actually a “systemic ethnic cleansing” that has led to the “complete collapse” of the city, which started “the moment that black people became the majority.”
An Actual Sentence: “As Black people flee the still-dead Frankenstein-monster that is Detroit, they move to the safe Whitopia’s [sic] that will inevitably be in turn vacated by white people fleeing the crime and depreciated property values that follow the Black refugees of the Motor City.”
Another Actual Sentence: “Inevitably, Black people lack the ability to sustain the infrastrucutre they are handed over in the transition of power. Why can’t the Black engineers just fix these water pipes?”
Current Amazon Kindle Store Best Sellers Rank: #38,904
Five-Star Amazon Reviewer P. Atwood Says: “When a upward and far thinking people are replaced by a low I.Q. criminal people, the City becomes a horror show”
Other Products P. Atwood Has Reviewed: Kersey’s Stuff Black People Don’t Like: 365 Black Days of Judging by Content of Character (Five stars, “regular people watch blacks eat faces of people high on “Bath Salts” or toss little girls in recycle bins for their BMX bicycles”), The Walking Dead season one (“5 stars; “we watch 2% (young Black Males) of the population commit 90% of the interracial crime”; Complete Chrysler Hemi Engine Manual (2 stars; “If you are building a 426 you will be disappointed.”)
A Distant Thunder
Author: H. A. Covington
Genre: Alternate History
The Cover Promises That the flag of an all-white republic is awfully close to Nigeria’s.
Premise: The second of Covington’s novels about the founding of an all-white republic in the northwester United States, A Distant Thunder concerns a young patriot’s quest to assassinate a wicked supreme court justice named – of course – Samuel Rothstein.
Actual Sentences: “Did you know that the English language contains over one hundred words for nigger? ZOG tried to ban them all. Thought control. … On more than one occasion, at the early Party meetings I went to while I was in high school, we’d get newbies who;d never been among racially aware white people before. Suddenly they’d burst out, cursing and shouting and screaming out loud over and over again ‘Nigger! Nigger! Niggerniggerniggerniggernigger!” like they had Tourette’s Sybndrome. For the first time in years, for the first time ever for some of them, they could speak freely and without retaliation from politically correct society.”
Current Amazon Kindle Best Sellers Rank: #310,472
Five-Star Amazon Reviewer J. Michael Says: “A Distant Thunder pulls you into the mechanics of revolution: the weapons, the tactics, the secrecy, the psychology, etc,”
Other Products J. Michael Has Reviewed: Mitt Romney’s No Apology: Believe in America (one star, “A Romney administration: more of the same, with a bit more war, more Mexicans and…more wives?”); Frank E. Eakin’s What Price Prejudice?: Christian Antisemitism in America (one star, “[Eakin] takes money from the hands [of] organized Jewry (note the name of his professorship’s sponsors) in exchange for slandering Christianity”); Victor Easy Set Mouse Trap 4 Pack (Five stars; “Bait them with peanut butter and wait for the carcasses”)
Upsetting Fact: Covington founded the National Socialist White People’s Party. Also, unless we count Pat Buchanan, he’s the only white supremacist author who seems able to afford a copy editor.
Captain America and Whiteness: The Dilemma of a Superhero
Author: Paul Kersey, again
Genre: Hilarious cultural commentary
The Cover Promises Here’s what Captain America’s shield looks like when you can’t get the rights to it. Also, “Whiteness” is not the name of Cap’s new sidekick, who could be played by Jim Gaffigan.
Premise: For years, Hollywood has been replacing its classic white action stars with “the Vin Diesel, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Will Smith, and Samuel L Jackson’s.[sic]” The Marvel comics heroes were created in the 40s and 60s, before this time “when whiteness is under attack,” so the Marvel superhero movies have been welcome havens for old-fashioned white heroics. In the comics, meanwhile, Marvel is attacking its heroes’ whitenss with stories of a black Captain America and a new Spider-Man named Miguel Morales.
An Actual Sentence: “Entire industries have arisen for academics to attack whiteness … yet Marvel was saved by the inherent whiteness of its characters because it gave the American audience white characters to relate too at a time when Hollywood is de-whitening itself.”
Another Actual Sentence: “And finally, we’ll tackle the question of why Marvel’s resident anti-hero, Frank Castle – the Punisher – is the only ‘hero’ whose actions make sense.”
Current Amazon Best Sellers Rank: ##1,991,409
Five-Star Amazon Reviewer Music Man Says: “Telling the truth will get you everywhere, eh??Youbetcha!!”
Other Products “music man” Has Reviewed: Failure to Launch DVD (one star, “the idea if him with a minority fiance’ years prior from the ghetto, now dead, is absoutely wrecklace script-writing at it’s ultimate stupidity”); Tiger Woods: A Biography (one star, “Cheesey. Sugar frosted cake.”); 1Pound Soild [sic] Batch Churn Butter (five stars; “This is the Butter to get.”); Taken DVD (five stars, “Finally, the All-American White male serving HIS Sacred country on all levels with what really matters… sparking confidence, once again, to those who Would!!”)
Upsetting Fact: You can make “tax deductible” donations to Paul Kersey via his website.
There’s plenty more of this swill, but this is all too depressing to keep wading through, and anyway I have to spend the next couple hours clicking on editions of The Autobiography of Malcolm X so Amazon’s book-recommendation system stops thinking I’m racist.
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