Four Basic Rules for Anthony Weiner Now That He’s Back on Twitter


After a few months off the Twitter grid (for good reason), former Congressman Anthony Weiner returned to the social network yesterday with a fresh, new account. And that might’ve been done for a few reasons.

Maybe he’s finally stopped having night terrors of tweets gone terribly wrong. Maybe he’s really serious about apologizing to the public and this is him turning over a new leaf. Or maybe he wants to start his *possible* mayoral campaign off on the right digital foot.

Regardless of what the overanalyzed implications are, this still boils down to one thing: Anthony Weiner is back on the platform that seriously struck a deafening blow to his political career. So, if he’s going to talk to us in 140 characters or less again, we’re gonna have to go over some ground rules first.

1. This should be the most obvious. None of the following: nudity, sexual implications, sexual advances, sexual innuendoes, flirting, phallic jokes, “That’s What She Said” jokes, or sex jokes of any kind whatsoever. Sorry, bud, you lost that privilege a long, long time ago. Oh, and using the FDNY social media guidelines as a reference, no racism.

2. We saw that your first tweet from your shiny, new account was a link to your shiny, new policy handbook. Stick to those types of informational yet formal tweets. But you can be informal sometimes. We actually encourage you to be–that’s what made your first Twitter so good. Just not too informal, please.

3. With that being said, maybe get someone else to write your tweets? And then, if you want to write a personal one, you can sign it -AW, like how Obama signs his tweets -BO. If you take this route, just make sure you don’t hire this dude.

4. No one should fall from grace twice. So, in the future, don’t let Twitter take over or ruin your life ever, ever again. Get it? Got it? Good.

Follow those rules and we’re sure you’ll do just fine, Mr. Weiner.