This week, City University of New York announced that it would be bringing on an exciting new staff member: former CIA Director David Petraeus, who has been named “Visiting Professor of Public Policy” and will start in August.
But what exactly will Petraeus be teaching? Public policy is a pretty broad topic. With respect for what Dr. Petraeus has done to serve our country, but also it being a late Wednesday afternoon, the Village Voice editorial team has brainstormed some class title suggestions.
1. “How to Run Six-Minute Miles While Being Interviewed by a Member of the Press”
This is how Paula Broadwell wrote her book.
2. “Cinema Studies: Why Argo and Zero Dark Thirty Are Modern Classics”
3. “TV Studies: The Problem with Homeland“
This course includes a week on strong female characters with serious professional indiscretions.
4. “Controlled Shmoozing: How to Navigate the Tampa Social Scene”
And gain VIP access to “valet parking, string quartets on the lawn, premium cigars and champagne, and caviar-laden buffets.” [WaPo]
5. “How to Handle an HBO Show Basically Becoming Your Real Life”
Students will need to take “TV Studies: The Problem with ‘Homeland'” as a prerequisite.
6. “Advanced Seminar: No, I Will Not Help You with Your Dissertation on Afghanistan”
Seriously. Just use the Internet.
7. “Situational Awareness 101: Beware Shirtless FBI Agents”
Remember all the weird media hype surrounding this guy?
8. “Tiger Woods: All Things Considered, Not That Bad a Guy”
Though Iraq was a lot harder than the Masters.
9. “How to Make Everyone Everywhere Want Your Surge”
Though, beware: Surges don’t usually end well.
10. “Emerging Domestic Threats in America: Bored Florida Socialites”
Don’t underestimate Floridians. Really.