Bill de Blasio Met The Drag Queens Last Night


Last night at the Cutting Room, Cynthia Nixon and Alan Cumming hosted a rousing event for mayoral wannabe Bill de Blasio, whose liberal stance and “We want our city back!” slogan have become pretty irresistible in the face of our Mary Poppins state.

In fact, I appeared in a skit with Unitard’s Nora Burns and Mike Albo in which I revealed that, despite his pro-gay views, de Blasio is shockingly straight, but we shouldn’t let that get out or it could ruin his career!

Whatever their sexuality, the evening’s array of talent was amazing, like B.E.T.T.Y., the Well-Strung Quartet, Justin Vivian Bond, Michael Cavadias, Amber Martin, David Ilku, and Flotilla DeBarge, who made quite an impression on the candidate. (“I am naming Flotilla the head of my security detail,” he said after the drag queen lipsynched “Don’t Mess with Bill.” “I thought the level of physical intimidation was extraordinary.”)

At one point, Nixon made a crack about how a straight person can turn gay, but the opposite happens too–and out came de Blasio’s wife, Chirlane McCray, who famously identified as a lesbian way back when.

And the shebang ended with singer Bridget Everett sitting on Bill’s lap and crooning “He’s just my Bill/An ordinary guy,” in between hilarious ad libs and occasional glimpses at her iPhone for the real words.

At the beginning of the show, when Cumming had talked about being rammed with a dildo by a lesbian on The L Word, Nixon joked, “I’m sure de Blasio’s staff is thrilled right now.” But by the end, everyone–including Bill himself–declared the night a great celebration of what makes NYC cook. At least for one night we got our city back.