Dear Royal Diary,
What bollocks. Is this punishment for what happened in Vegas last year? They’re sending me to New Jersey to inspect Hurricane Sandy damage on my American tour. This is so going to be way less fun than flying military aircraft in Afghanistan, which was a joy for me because I got to use my thumbs, like, you know, with PlayStation. At least on Wednesday I get to attend a celebrity polo match in Connecticut, which 200 journalists are attending, along with the 400 invite-only guests, including models. Smashing! I guess Americans really do care about underprivileged tots in Lesotho.
Alright, diary. I’m knackered. Nigel took his day off today, so I had to hold the pen myself this time.